Month: August 2017

As the summer holidays grow to a close 

The summer holidays are nearly over here in Northumberland and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

In one way I’m happy they are done, my two and even myself we are craving a routine again. Knowing where we are and what we are doing is how I thrive. I like a plan of action and don’t like to ‘wing’ it too much. So I’m ready to get our flow back.
However in another way I’m sad they are ending. It means my last summer having a non school child is over and both my children will be in school. It also means my job is over, 4 weeks ago I decided enough was enough and I had to give up childminding and tomorrow is my last day.
 If you havnt read my other post I have recently been diagnosised with psoriatic arthritis and have started treatment to combat it. And after finally taking notice of my doctor, my consultant, my partner, and even the parents of the children I care for I decided to slow down and take time to allow my body to recover so that’s it, tomorrow is the end of my childminding journey of nearly 7 years.
So that means when the summer is over I’m done.
I also feel bad that this summer held so much promise of adventure filled days and lazy picnics in the sun (not that we’ve seen much of that here this year!) But instead it’s been a very mundane summer as my body hasn’t been up to it.
So I’ve promised myself that come next summer I’ll hopefully be more in control of my own body and be able to create more memories with just my two children. We will be able to get up and just pack the car and go. Be it to the beach, a national trust place, beamish or further afield i promise that next summer will be filled with magic and memories.
So there we are a summer 2017 is over today consists of school shoe and coat shopping. Maybe I’ll treat the girls to new pencil cases and then come home and do their homework that we have obviously left till last minute!

S x  

Being the bad guy 

Sometimes it’s true we have to be the bad guy to benefit our children in the long run.

Tonight I took the bulb out of my darling eldest light… why you ask?
 Because last night I put her to bed and went off to bed myself an hour later checked on her she was ‘out like a light’ 11pm rolls round and she’s stood at the edge of my bed, gives me the fright of my life and tells me she can’t sleep…

Hug her, kiss her and put her back to bed and think nothing more of it until the next day we are playing lego together and she let’s slip that after I put her to bed and after I checked on her she had been up making a dj area with her lego!

So fast forward to tonight… I put her to bed, goodnight,love you, sweet dreams my darling… go have a shower and come back out to her light on and her sat playing lego!!!

She tells me it’s not fair she’s a grown up so should be allowed to stay up late.. I try to explain we’ve just had a weekend away and she stayed up till 11pm 3 nights in a row 🙈 and she’s off again on Friday for a holiday with her grandparents before school starts again so it’ll be another 3 nights of late ones so she needs to gather her energy for the next couple of nights but nope she’s kicking off, saying the lights going back on the second I’m out the door!
So I calmly move her stool, take out the bulb, pop it in my pocket and say “goodnight my darling sweet dreams.” And close the door to her wailing.
5 minutes later I hear her say “you’ve hurt my feelings by taking my bulb !” My heartstrings ain’t being pulled tonight my dear, mammy is taking a stand and that bulb will go back tomorrow morning.

Sat on the sofa, eating milk trays and just said to the other half “I bet she’s been wise enough to open her ensuite door and use that light!!”

Summer hols week 2!

Week two started with the Monday thankfully off work as I was till having a painful body day 🙁 The girls were really good and watched a film to start the day and had a wee snuggle together.  However a knock on the door and it was the bloke arriving to fix our flooring issues – even though they weren’t booked in so I had to send him away as I was on my way out (once I’d washed my hair treatment out and got out of Brett’s Pj’s!!) . Thankfully he understood and realised that he didn’t have enough screed to fix all the problems there actually was. We bought a new build back in December and have had numerous flooring issues which is getting just ridiculous now but hopefully they will get sorted ASAP.

Once sorted we headed up to Swarland again to meet two of my very good best friends and their children and had a blast in the sunshine. The kids had a whale of a time in the park and eating yummy cakes and sweets!

Tuesday was work day again. Playing in the garden, putting on shows for the older ones, building dens, crafting on!! We also did some gardening and took some cuttings from our sweat peas which smell amazing in my dining room! 

Wednesday was a day off so we headed up to Cragside to meet lots of friends in the park but I was still having a bad day so had to take a good old walking stick for support. The kids all had lots of fun playing in the park and den building. Bethany loves to be outside and be at one with nature- we had took her good friend with us too as a treat- I’ve cared for this one since she was 8 months old so shes more like a sister to Beth!)
In the afternoon we had to head off to the hospital for my lung function test which I wigged out on silly me. I got told to use my stick if going out and about to give my body some support.

Then a trip round good old Aldi ON MY OWN as Brett had collected the girls from me at the hospital and was off to see his sister. Is it just me who thinks a shopping trip alone is a treat!!

Thursday- another fun filled childminding day full of busy playing, crafting, running around the garden, up and down off the floor to play with the happyland. However a sad end to the day as we finally decided that I needed some time off to let me body have some rest time. So Thursday ended with me giving notice to all the families I care for to finish for September. (another post to follow about that hard decision.)

Friday I just had my two and one lovely wee girl so we went back up to the park for a good old play in the morning with a few of our friends and there was a pony tied up and the lady allowed the children to pet him- aptly named Iggle Piggle a firm favourite of one of the children I care for!! We arrived home for a quick lunch and my new shoes had arrived- Birkenstock recommended by a friend as fab footwear for my ouchy feet.

Then we hit the library in the afternoon to go to learn about how to care for our pets- however the people didn’t turn up to give the talk- ekk- but we still managed to get some new books to borrow and Bethany signed up for the summer reading challenge-that girl loves a book, just like me!!

Saturday we were lucky enough to have a babysitter for the morning so me and Brett had a date and tootled off to the cinema to see Dunkirk Fab film!!

Then a quick run round Ikea for curtain rails- 8 months since moving in we are finally getting curtains for the bedrooms!! Whoop Whoop!

Collected the girls then had a lush chinese for tea as another treat!

Sunday Brett went off biking and we stayed in and attempted to rebuild the lego castles!! 4 hours later and and we were no where near finished so it was tidy up time and a quick blitz of the house before Brett arrived back.
The rain hit just as we were about to leave to head to Nelson’s (again!!) but waterproofs on for the girls and we still headed off! Nice tea there and a a-ok from Brett for a secret purchase and back home for bedtime!



Another busy week!

Finally a diagnosis!

So since January I’ve been having pains in my joints or more so I started noticing them more.
I had a car crash in January and that seemed to steam roll the pains more.

By April I was crying on a regular basis of how sore I was and how it was just getting worse. So bad to the point I was bottom bumping down the stairs and struggling to get up on a morning or getting up of the sofa was sending pains shooting through my body.  Sleep was non existent.
I broke down to one of the parents child I care for who is a rhumetoligist and said she thought I had Rheumatoid arthritis by my description.
A call to the doctors and he recommended bloods be done but they couldn’t fit me in for another week so my friend said she would do them for me.

Results came back a week later but the inflammation marker was just a mere 15 so they didn’t think it was rheumatoid. So back to the drawing board.

After doing some of my own google research I found out there was a type called ‘psoriatic arthritis’ which would link up as I have bad psoriasis on my scalp. I felt so much better reading about it and seeing that my ‘symptoms’ were real and they weren’t just in my head!

So another call to the doctors as my body was still so sore and asked for stronger anti inflammatory and suggested an actual appointment and he agreed so went to see him who agreed a referral was actually needed. So that was the beginning of May.

A daily check of the ‘book in’ system to try get an appointment and there was still nothing by July!
Another call to the doctors for another pain killer to try, then an A&E visit who couldn’t do anything for me but send me away with more codeine!

Fast forward to the Thursday 13th July and I was getting ready to go collect the kiddies I care for and I just lost it all to Brett. Cried so much and he lost it too and called the doctors and demanded an appointment which they luckily gave me.
Cancelled most of the kids for the day as luckily they were all on maternity/could swap to a different day and were all understanding.
Headed off to the docs and literally pulled myself along the banister to the doctors room and broke down to her. She said she could see how bad I was, she wanted to give me a sick note (being self employed I was like who the heck do I give it to!!) so refused it. She recommended that I rest and allow my body time to heal as that’s what it was desperately craving.
She also said she would write a letter to the rhumetoligist and recommend they get me in ASAP!

I left her feeling so much more positive and hopeful.

The next day I got a call at 12pm asking if I could come in at 10am on the Monday morning… I cried down the phone to the woman and was so shocked that they had managed to get me in!


Monday morning came, I went to the wrong ward and had to walk all the way to the other end of the hospital I cried all the way back down.
Eventually got to the correct place and got called and the lovely lovely registrar came to get me and said she could see how much pain I was in. She apologised with how long it had taken to get seen, she went through all the history and told me the bloods Id recently had taken had a inflammation marker of 89!!! WOWZA!!!
So a total body exam and she said it was a bad fast paced psoriatic arthritis that I had in most of the major joints and also in the smaller joints too.
She squeezed my hands and the left was def the worst and the right foot the worst too. Right ankle is highly inflamed and she was shocked with how bad it was.

So she said a steroid injection would happen today to hopefully lessen the inflammation. And she would recommend a drug called methotrexate which you take for 1 day but it can make you feel sick so you take folic acid on the other 6 days to counter act it.
With this drug they have to keep an eye on your lungs and liver function so an xray would be needed today and regular blood tests too.

So off I went for a injection in my bottom then the chest xray and that was me done until the group clinic in August!

Or so I thought!! A letter came in the post saying I need to have a lung function test which me being me googled and it happens in a wee glass cubicle, you blow into the machine and it measure your lung function/capacity.

So I go off for that and Brett comes to collect the kids so they don’t have to hang around the hospital. Super glad he turns up and takes them away as I bloody wig out from all the blowing!
The last one is the one that got me, so breathe normally x2 deep breathe in then blow it out as fast as you can but then hold it!! 2nd time and that was me gone! poor woman has to push me back into the cubicle and says yep that will do for today! ha
She then very kindly walks me to the car parking paying machine as she was worried about me, she offers to push me there in a wheelchair as she can see how bad I’m struggling to walk and tells me I MUST use my walking stick if im walking any kind of distance 🙁



Thats where we are up to as of today!

Group clinic and consultant meeting is happening this week and another injection in the derriere!!

Whoop whoop!! I’m actually super glad that I have managed to be squeezed in as I was originally told I would have to wait til October to be seen!!!!

I don’t think I would of survived until then! SO fingers crossed this new pill works and I can get back to being me!!

s x

Summer holidays are here!!

Well we are a week in to the summer holidays ekk!!

The week started well with it being my birthday- I say ‘well’ however no presents in this house as it didn’t get delivered on time 🙁 However we still managed to have some fun and went and met up with all our friends from school at a local cafe with a park where we had never been before!!
It was an AMAZING find!! Nelson’s in the park at Swarland- if you haven’t been you have to go! The menu was right up my street, so hard to choose from so many yummy things- I went for the bacon, brie and cranberry panini with a rose lemonade. The girls went for the children’s picnic which came served in a little wooden crate and the juice in a milk bottle which just looked so cute!Having the park enclosed meant the children could run and play carefree whilst us mum’s and dad’s sat and watched. Great fun had by all and I got lots of lovely presents off our friends too!!

Tuesday was a work day so busy fun filled with the kids, it was also my mam’s birthday so we exchanged presents after I had finished.
Me, Brett and the girls then headed up to Thrunton to go scatter his friend Greg’s ashes. We met Greg’s Mum and Dad up there and scattered them over an amazing view point. Very sad but also a happy occasion as that’s what he had expressed he wished to happen and its an amazing place for his parent’s, family and friend’s to go and remember him.
It put things into perspective though as he wasn’t very old- a mere 37 so it’s really got us thinking of our lives and our futures.

Wednesday was another day off. We headed down to the metro   to do some shopping! The girls both got lots of nice new bits of clothing. My birthday present finally arrived- the most soft, snuggly dressing gown ever!! Well done B x

Thursday and Friday were work days again with a house full of kiddies.

Friday evening we made ‘freak-shakes’ which the girls thoroughly enjoyed doing!!



Saturday was the day I had been looking forward to the most though!!  Ladies Day at Newcastle Race course! I went with 4 good friends and we had a fab day. I didnt drink (due to all the tablets I have to take 🙁 ) but it was still a fab day. It was lovely to get dressed up and be a ‘lady’ for the day and not have children hanging off you or wanting you every second!!
Saturday night I whizzed back and picked up the family and went to my cousins wedding night. It was a lovely night and her and her new hubby had practiced a dance for their first dance which was cool!


Sunday was recovery day as I was aching from top to bottom- so a quick clean of the house and then a sofa snuggle in front of a few movies is what we did!

First week of the holidays has been a success!! Roll on the next 5 weeks!!