Month: September 2017

No longer a childminder, finding who I am?! 

So here we are I am officially no longer a childminder! After nearly 8 years of being a self employed childminder and before that a nanny for 2 years, I am no more responsible for anyone else’s wee darlings.

How did this happen? Who am I now?

Well as in my post ‘finally a diagnosis’ back in July I was diagnoaed with psoriatic arthritis and advised by my doctor and my consultant to take some time out or have a career change to rest and let my body heal.

Of course me being me I wasn’t having any of it and I powered through, I tweaked my days at work to have a Monday and Wednesday off so surely that was good enough wasn’t it? I was giving my body time to heal..or was I?

On the days I wasn’t working there was a house to tend too and I still had my own 2 girls to look after and entertain so I wasnt actually giving my body a fighting chance to recover.

So summer holidays and I was still powering through, still in absolute agony, still crying on a nightly basis, but getting better at hiding all my pain from most people- customers included, bar one who has fibromyalgia so she understood the constant pain and fatigue I was going through.

So it gets to a Wednesday during the holidays it’s a day off for me woohoo but I’ve promised to go meet up at our local national trust with a few friends- who were also customers, two current and two on maternity- just for the morning and I’m in so much agony with every footstep that I have to take my stick with me for extra support and admit to those that I’m not coping very well actually and I’m hitting the wall now.
They were all shocked at how bad I truly was and I think it hit home just how sore I was and how much I’ve been powering through to not let them down.

So after discussing it with Brett and asking if we could survive if I gave up childminding for a bit to do as my consultant and doctor advised he agreed we could.

So the next day I told all my customers with a very heavy heart that my last day would be at the end of the summer holidays. Luckily they were all supportive and not one of them whinged or whined at me for putting me first. They all agreed this was for the best and were happy I was putting myself first and taking time out to heal.

So fast forward and now I’m at week 3 of not working as a childminder but running the house and doing Brett’s accounts and supporting his business. So technically I’m a stay at home mum/book keeper!

How do I feel?!

Well I’m a bit lost, what with Emily being at nursery in the mornings and me being on my own it will take a while for me to find my groove. Luckily Nelly is keeping me company and keeping my mood up.. more on Nelly on the next post!!

I’m not going to lie I’m really glad I’m not rushing out to do 4 collections/drop off’s a day or cooking for 12 kids at night time or entertaining them all 24/7. My body is thanking me for taking it slower, the pain and the fatigue is still there but I’m fighting through it and allowing myself to chill out a bit more now that I’ve got time to.

So all in all I think as a family we have made the correct decision and I’m just thankful I  have such a supportive partner who has taken on the financial burden of supporting the whole family on his own. He is one of a kind and I’ll forever be thankful to him for allowing me this time to let my body recover.

S x

2 weeks into school 

So tonight marks 2 weeks of school done! And also 2 weeks of not being a childminder in the bag also (that’s for abother post though!!) 

School..

So Emily last week was a doddle going into school.. excited, happy, making new friends, basically loving it! 

Bethany back into route and nailed it in year 3 no bother.  Proud as punch of both of them.

Fast forward to this week. Beth was poorly with  bad throat and temperature so she was off on Monday and Tuesday. Que Emily turning into a nightmare! She obviously couldn’t understand why Beth got to stay home but she was still being farmed out or she’s realised this is her reality now 😕 she didn’t want me to leave on Monday-wednesday so I stayed until after 9.30am and then had to just leave her with the teacher to cry/not cry. Thursday I had a consultant appointment that I couldnt miss so I literally dropped and walked away. Bad mother feels:( 

Today I kissed her and handed her over to the TA and she was fine. However she was then playing trains at 9.30am (the time I’ve still been there most mornings!!) Happily playing away when another boy (in the year above- mixed class) came over and decided he wanted the green train and because Emily didn’t want to give it up he ‘pushed her’ with his yellow train and has marked her face and blacked her eye. 

She screamed and cried so a cold compress was applied! However for not sharing/letting him be the boss she was asked to apologies to him. He was forced to apologise which he did. 

I know we have to encourage sharing with children but it shouldn’t just be assumed that as soon as someone else wants something they have to give it up there and then! That’s not how the world works. Patience is a  virtue. 

So maybe the teacher should of turned it round and said I know you want the green train but Emily is busy playing with it. Once she’s finished with it I’m sure she’ll let you have a turn. Turn taking is a skill that need to be learnt as is patience and yes sharing is too. 

My poor baby has gone to bed not understanding why she was made to say sorry as to her she was just playing and child x hit her or ‘pushed a train in her face’  because she didn’t want to give up her green choo  Choo just yet. 

I know accidents happen at school but like we all feel as parents if it’s our babies that are being hurt we will move heaven or earth to protect them  🙁 

Thank goodness it’s the weekend now so plenty of snuggles will be given to make the world better for her.. 

Nelly has already been helping make her feel better… have I introduced Nelly yet? I don’t think I truly Have!! 

Goodnight from an over protective and over thinking mother 
S x