Month: November 2017

My illness and me

If your new around here and don’t know, I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis at the end of July.

I was in daily unexplained pain for months previous to this and it wasnt until I saw the rheumatologist that I got some answers. This type of arthritis is attacking my joints and is an auto immune basically my body is fighting what it thinks is an infection and is working too hard to attack itself. So the medication I take, which is a chemo style drug, is to kill my immune system which is hopefully going to stop my body being in so much pain

Fast forward to now and so far I’ve attended 3 clinic and on Thursday will attend my fourth. And at each clinic plus my first consultant meeting in July I’ve had a steriod injection to try get it under control.

So far I’ve been on methotrexate for 12 weeks or so but got informed at my last clinic they don’t think it’s working as well as it should be as the inflammation is still rife in my body, especially my right ankle as it just don’t give up!

The pain has died down a wee bit in my body and I’m not as stiff as I was, no where as near as it was, I was literally taking a good 20 minutes to just work up to getting out of bed on a morning. Don’t get me wrong the pain is still there but I’ve got used to living with it and My consultant thinks my positive mental attitude towards it and having a diagnosis has helped me.

I’ve got this for life, at the moment they don’t have a cure for arthritis but hopefully one day they will. But for now I’ve got to live with it and just pray the next lot of pills I get help get the inflammation down and get my pain under control. Flares I’ll have to live with but the pain medication helps a little bit so i can continue with my life. But the consultant is throwing pills at me to get me as pain free and get it under control as much as possible so fingers crossed they next lot of pills are the magic cocktail.

The worst bit is people cant see the pain im in so I feel they think I’m making it all up which is bloody hard. And it’s hard to explain how sore I am so most of the time i just push through the pain so the kids and Brett don’t actually know what I am truly feeling as I don’t want to feel like a burden..


Let’s see what the next step of the plan is on Thursday and maybe I might know a bit more of what’s happening.


A letter to my biggest love on your 8th birthday 


How are you 8? I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday, walking up sand dunes whilst in Labour, eating cheese toasties, reading magazines in the bath whilst contractions were coming, biting your gran’s hand whilst pushing, and them wham you were there! In my arms all 7lb 2oz of loveliness. My Bethany! You graced the world in the witching hour as you have recently started telling friends and your mega proud of it.

And now you are 8 years old!!
You are an amazing girl. So super intelligent, you love to read, maths is a favourite as is art and computers/phone’s- roblox is your most played on game. You love to play lego and enjoy making new buildings and creations. You enjoy playing barbies with your little sister and the two of you love your lol dolls and have asked for more for Christmas!! Your kind and considerate and a little bit moody when you havnt had enough sleep. You have a bit of a back chat going on at the moment but show me a 8 year old that doesn’t!
I can’t believe 8 years has flown by but what a 8 years it has been.
Well I’m mega proud of YOU. You are the one who made me a mam,  the one who taught me how to be a mam. You are the one who taught me what real true love is. From the minute I laid eyes on you, with how much you looked like your daddy I knew that I’d move heaven or earth to protect you and ensure your life was the best it could be and you would be our priority in life.
We had 8 whole months of just me and you of maternity leave then I had to go back to work. I luckily had a plan and that was to become a childminder and work from home so I could spend every minute with you so when you were 13 months old that’s what happened.

We were together every day and have been ever since. I’ve dropped and picked you up from school and been to every school event, nativity, church service. I’ve Been lucky enough to care for you when your poorly and just been able to be your mum.

I may not have always been the best one or the most patient mum but I’m yours and you are mine and Bethany I bloody love the bones off you!!

You are my first born,  my blot and I am super happy to call you my girl
Happy 8th birthday sweetheart the world is truly a better place for having you in it
Lots of love
Mammy xxx

Meet Nelly!

So what do you get the man who has everything and needs nothing for his big 4-0?!

Well you get him one of the things he’s wanted for so long but we haven’t been able to have due to the nature of my past job….

So everyone meet Nelly!! Our beautiful wee girl, the newest member to our gang!

She is a Labrador crossed with a Pointer which Brett thinks it makes her a pointerdor!!
She is the most placid, loving, adorable little thing ever and we are all truly besotted with her.

She is nearly 17 weeks old now and has been with us since the beginning of september and she has from day one just slotted straight into our family like shes always been here.
Nelly is still waking up a few times in the night but she is just doing it as she’s still so little and needs to go wee/poo so is very good in the sense that shes letting us know rather than going in her cage.
However I dont sleep too good due to pain levels so she keeps me company when she does wake up in night/early in morning.

Nel’s may be Brett’s birthday pressie but she’s also been bought to help me fight my ’empty nest syndrome’ . This can happen for some Mama’s that once their youngest goes off to nursery they think holey moley what do I do now?! This is more so than ever for me right now as not only has Em started nursery this month but I’ve also stopped childminding so Nelly Belle has been helping keep me company. So Nelly is a double whammy, birthday present and empty nest helper in one!!

Here’s a few more pic’s of her of her first few weeks at the Grove….