So here we are I am officially no longer a childminder! After nearly 8 years of being a self employed childminder and before that a nanny for 2 years, I am no more responsible for anyone else’s wee darlings.

How did this happen? Who am I now?

Well as in my post ‘finally a diagnosis’ back in July I was diagnoaed with psoriatic arthritis and advised by my doctor and my consultant to take some time out or have a career change to rest and let my body heal.

Of course me being me I wasn’t having any of it and I powered through, I tweaked my days at work to have a Monday and Wednesday off so surely that was good enough wasn’t it? I was giving my body time to heal..or was I?

On the days I wasn’t working there was a house to tend too and I still had my own 2 girls to look after and entertain so I wasnt actually giving my body a fighting chance to recover.

So summer holidays and I was still powering through, still in absolute agony, still crying on a nightly basis, but getting better at hiding all my pain from most people- customers included, bar one who has fibromyalgia so she understood the constant pain and fatigue I was going through.

So it gets to a Wednesday during the holidays it’s a day off for me woohoo but I’ve promised to go meet up at our local national trust with a few friends- who were also customers, two current and two on maternity- just for the morning and I’m in so much agony with every footstep that I have to take my stick with me for extra support and admit to those that I’m not coping very well actually and I’m hitting the wall now.
They were all shocked at how bad I truly was and I think it hit home just how sore I was and how much I’ve been powering through to not let them down.

So after discussing it with Brett and asking if we could survive if I gave up childminding for a bit to do as my consultant and doctor advised he agreed we could.

So the next day I told all my customers with a very heavy heart that my last day would be at the end of the summer holidays. Luckily they were all supportive and not one of them whinged or whined at me for putting me first. They all agreed this was for the best and were happy I was putting myself first and taking time out to heal.

So fast forward and now I’m at week 3 of not working as a childminder but running the house and doing Brett’s accounts and supporting his business. So technically I’m a stay at home mum/book keeper!

How do I feel?!

Well I’m a bit lost, what with Emily being at nursery in the mornings and me being on my own it will take a while for me to find my groove. Luckily Nelly is keeping me company and keeping my mood up.. more on Nelly on the next post!!

I’m not going to lie I’m really glad I’m not rushing out to do 4 collections/drop off’s a day or cooking for 12 kids at night time or entertaining them all 24/7. My body is thanking me for taking it slower, the pain and the fatigue is still there but I’m fighting through it and allowing myself to chill out a bit more now that I’ve got time to.

So all in all I think as a family we have made the correct decision and I’m just thankful I  have such a supportive partner who has taken on the financial burden of supporting the whole family on his own. He is one of a kind and I’ll forever be thankful to him for allowing me this time to let my body recover.

S x

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